That’s right. Your body isn’t YOU. I hear women every day say things like, “I don’t know why I can’t seem to lose the weight!” or “I’ve always been overweight” or “I never weighed this much until I hit menopause!” The mistake that virtually all of us make is believing “My body is who I am.” This may seem like an odd topic and like we’re playing a game of Antics With Semantics, but the distinction is actually key to optimizing wellness. I’ll explain what I mean.
All of our bodies are constantly undergoing change. Neurotransmitters and hormones fluctuate continually to try to maintain homeostasis; that is, a state of internal balance. A stimulus, internal or external, causes a shift, and the body responds in some way. Nutrient levels decrease and the brain sends hunger signals; we swallow food, it’s digested, and the waste excreted. The oxygen-carbon dioxide balance shifts, so the diaphragm contracts and relaxes, drawing in air from the environment, taking up oxygen, and pushing out the carbon dioxide and other wastes. Weight increase and/or decreases. Vital body functions are carried out around the clock without our having to think about them.
The question I encourage my clients to ask is “Am I a different “me” moment to moment as my body’s constant fluctuations cause alterations in function, or am I something more stable and enduring, separate from these incessant shifts? Does who I am depend on what my body is doing, or am I still “me” amid these cycles and changes?” So far, every woman I’ve met who asks herself these questions responds by acknowledging that indeed, she IS an entity separate from her body.
When your car breaks down after serving you for many years, carrying you to and from work work and social events, providing you with a means to attend your loved ones’ performances and ceremonies, or to transport your pet to the park or vet’s office, do you feel like a failure? Of course not. Instead, you recognize that after so many miles, mechanical parts can break and repairs may be needed. Why then do we personalize how our bodies look and function? Why do we take it so personally when our bodies struggle or suffer as we tend to do with the addition of a few extra pounds? The body is just doing what the body does under stress, and that has nothing to do with who we are as beings!
I often suggest to my clients that the body is merely the vehicle that the actual me is driving around and I should treat it with the same care and respect that I would give to a car that I hope will last for a lifetime. When our car is dirty, we clean it or take it to the auto detail shop. When the gas tank is almost empty, we add the right amount of the proper fuel. If we spill a beverage on the seat, we clean up the mess. If we mistakenly miss taking the car in for routine maintenance, we book the appointment as soon as we realize the error and track our mileage so that we can do better going forward. We don’t take it personally or feel like a total failure or decide we’ve fallen off the wagon and might as well push the car over a cliff.
But we DO take that approach with our health, and especially our weight! Among all of my weight loss clients over the years, I can’t think of a single one who didn’t personalize the weight gain they’d experienced, expressing this with statements similar to those at the top of this post and feeling badly about themselves. Using a motivational and positive approach, I coach my clients through the process of befriending the body and supporting its needs through managing stress, nutrition, and other modifiable factors. Treating the body like a trusted partner creates incredible shifts that accelerate healing and the achievement of wellness goals. Your body isn’t who you are, but it CAN be your closest ally.
If my philosophy resonates with you, book your free call to learn more! I’d love for yours to be the next success story at Integrated Wellness!
